Has it been a year? Konti na lang gumagamit nitong blogger because there're other social networking sites na. Eh, tagal na rin. I missed blogging and writing senseless stuffs. I've been busy with school too. Just finished taking UPCAT last Sunday. It wasn't what I expected it to be. Or you know what I mean. Ah! We're also done with our periodicals for the first grading. Kanina lang. And it seems harder than the university exam. Kidding, I hope I'll pass.

So, there is a reason why I opened my account here. I've got something to share or to say or to just pour out what I feel right now or these past few days---- Okay, weeks. As you, if there might be a reader of this oh-so-abandoned-blog, can sense, I'm not feeling well. Up there you see- 'I'm in pain.'  And yeah right now, I really am. Something happened during summer 'til last week (?) or I dunno. Guess what? Love nanaman. I thought I won't want this kind of suffering anymore after all those stuffs. Pero as my will dictates, "Go lang. Sarap sa feeling, eh?" And yes of course, my brain's opposing, "Sarap nga. Pero sa huli, masasaktan ka din.Wag na. Tama na. Kung kailan fourth year ka na, saka ka maggaganyan. Sayang. May pagsisihan at sasayangin ka lang." The results came and he won. Thumbs up for you my brain. :-bd And this stupid blogger here lost the game. Of love.

Love. Eto nanaman baklaaa. Love nanaman. This is such a powerful word. Specially to the teenagers in my generation. Halos lahat kasi ng ginagawa ng mga kabataan ngayon, naimpluwensyahan ng love. Lintek. Akalain mo nasama ako dun. I never knew.... Anyway. Hindi kasi ito yung love na panglahatan. Technically speaking eh, couples lang. Love ng mag syota (short term saklap), mag boyfriend/girlfriend, magkarelasyon. Madalas nauuwi sa wala. Change is the only permanent thing kumbaga. May magbabago't magbabago kahit anong gawin ng isa sa kanila. Pero may ibang tunay na nagmamahalan kaya happy ending. Sa sitwasyon ko, napadpad ako sa unang option. Kaya nga I lost the game right?


Tho confidential, may clue pa rin regarding what happened. So eto na nga. Happy sa una, then, nawala na bigla. I would want to nurture it more. To grow and fonder every little thing that is included and that could influence us. But as time passed by, umiral si pride & I started to realize some things. Am I the only one here? Or he just won't say or do anything? I kept on asking him what he would do. Reponse? "Wala. Ganito lang." Maybe he can't feel or see what's missing. Maybe he's not that confident to fight for us. Or maybe.... *sigh. The maybes part. I don't know. I mean, kung meron talaga, he would come and tell me right? There must be a solution right? Pero wala eh. Wala. 'Til now. Kaya nga walang nangyayari eh. Uhh, actually meron. As far as I know, meron. And I wasn't part of it. Sana hindi ako mag mukhang mali. Hindi nya pa kasi inaalam ang side ko. I don't want to approach him anymore, since on the first place, he would not want to communicate with me. Even the people related to him won't. Am I that.....? :(


I'm hurting. You know the feeling when you'd want to cry but the tears won't fall? Yun yun eh. I... just....... can't. I just feel the pain. The skipping beats. The thunder inside. All. :( Nasasaktan talaga ako. Tapos na akong mapagod eh. Nasasaktan lang talaga.Tuamatagos eh. Hindi ako nagagalit or nabibitter. Masakit lang talaga. Sobra.

I hope there's someone who would lend a hand. Or kahit shoulder na lang. :(

Yes I'm starting to go back to normal. Well, most probably. I'm almost at the stage where I'd throw all the sorrows and feelings away. I hope I'll succeed. I'd better be. Para next time na mabasa ko 'to, friends na kami. Nothing more, nothing less. Or what I think to do is right. Thank you blog! Salamat dahil nalabas ko na kahit papano. I would love to start the change now. So help me God.

Thank you, I love you :')